Well, my friends, I have to say, it's been a long week.
I have been down for the count with the Colitis.
After switching medications around a couple of times, I am keeping my fingers crossed.
It's a nutty disease.
No one really knows what causes it.
No one really knows what brings on the flare-ups after being symptom free for so long.
There are lots of theories, but not all of them work for all people. So, you pick and choose your course. Right now I am gluten, dairy, raw, nut, seed and coffee free. Not that I have an appetite for anything. Kinda makes it easy.
I am swallowing an average of 20 pills everyday, hoping to stay away from the dreaded Prednisone.
I have to say, though, I am sleeping like a rock. All the time. Nothing like being at church on Sunday and having to get up and leave so I don't put my head down on the empty chair next to me. Oh, it sure looked good. I dunno, maybe no one would have minded if I had curled up...
I debated telling all of this.
Blogs are supposed to be happy places.
But I have always been honest with you, as my life just lends itself to a lot of reality.
I don't write this for sympathy.
(I am a big believer in prayer, however!)
And I do write to let others know they are not alone.
I do think it's important to be honest in our blogs.
Life is life. Not everyone (...anyone) has it all together. When we let others know they aren't alone in their struggles, I think it brings about more healing. A more level playing field.
I won't go into raw details of what I've been through this week, as that's just a little too much information. But I will be honest in that dealing with this brings about fear, and frustration, and makes one question the why of everything. It makes me question what I really want to do, if I should do it, and how am I supposed to do it if I'm down for the count? It makes me wonder about timing. It brings thoughts of, "I thought I was supposed to...." and "Wait. I thought everything was lining up just so. Why isn't it going according to plan?"
It makes me think thoughts like, "How many times am I supposed to start over after being knocked down?"
But am I really being knocked down?
I'm not in the hospital with my child having a 5 organ transplant.
I didn't have a double mastectomy this week.
I'm not suffering from a debilitating depression.
I think we are all in the same pool, and some of us are in the deep end, some of us are in the shallow end. Some of us are treading water, some of us are hanging onto the sides of the pool for dear life. But we have all been in the pool.
It's a humbling ride, this life.
I am beyond grateful for caring friends and sweet family.
Grateful for watching movies with Brenna.
For living in an age of such medical advancements.
For blogging, and friends like you.
So, for now, I'm taking a little bit at a time.
I'm making a little headway on getting this Colitis thing under control.
Missing coffee, trying different teas.
Watching Alvin and The Chipmunks with Miss B.
I think we have seen We Bought A Zoo three times. It's my new favorite...
I'm aiming for the art show on Saturday. With a lot of help. And not a lot of expectations. Which is kinda nice.
Thanks for listening.