Thursday, November 14, 2013

Friday Ramblings


End of the Year Tennis Banquet.

Opened the Blog Shop

Began Advertising Campaign.

Watched Miss Brenna's final Homecoming Pep Rally.
We are both proud to report that the Seniors won the Spirit Stick.

Homecoming dance with her dates.

And, NO. 
I can't believe it's her senior year.

Got accepted to the YMCA's 46th annual 

Which is having me (happily!) embracing Christmasy-stuff before Christmas.
Now, I know the smart thing is to begin this kind of creating in July. Ha.
Maybe September.
I didn't find out about this cool event until late October and wasn't sure if I would get in. But I could CERTAINLY get into helping with the holiday shopping mode with my blog.
(Hence, my opening the Blog Shop.)

This is where the (sarcastic) fun of the week begins.
Somehow it opened the door to what-ifs and that nasty word, doubt.
I'm beginning to think this is just a part of the artist's world.
Little by little, I learn to recognize doubt's presence so that it doesn't sneak up on me in such a large way. I become stronger and stronger to shut. the. door. on it's presence.

When I embrace the 
that there is 
of us,
(including me)

I begin to get happy.
And messy.
I realize (anew) how I'm surrounded by things and people I love.

happy and messy

I cannot say, however, this is a steady stream.
Three times this week I have seen or heard this:
This life is MESSY.

I don't sleep well or something comes up at B's school, or she isn't super happy about cooperating or the dog gets a haircut and is cold, so I buy her a sweater and while wearing it, decides she can't walk in it and falls over.


Which, at first I find irrelevant to this post and I really just wanted to show you this goofy photo.
But really?
It's part of what ALL adds up.

If I could sit in my art room all day, every day, maybe I could have a steady stream of happy.

it's beginning to look a little like Christmas...

Of course, there are a couple of problems with this.
First, I would probably get horrific Sciatica from sitting so much.
Second, I would be isolated and focused on a very, very small part of life.
Don't get me wrong, ART is HUGE in my life.
It's embedded into just about all I do and how I view things.
 It helps to expand what I learn and how I think.
It gets me out that door so I don't sit in a room forever.
 It actually makes me look at doubt and why it has to even raise it's nasty head.
If I sat in a room and created and never shared, never got outside of my room....

I would miss SENIOR Pep Rallies
and watching
 the leaves TURN COLORS  
and the feeling of melancholy I get when Fall begins to fade.

I would miss DISCUSSIONS, especially the difficult ones that, when worked out to the end, bring peace and resolution

purchase this here

I guess what I'm trying to get across is that as tough as some days are, I'm finding(again and again) there is a purpose and a reason for that day's thread to be woven into my life.
And while some of those purposes and reasons are completely hidden and hard and hurtful, if I embrace the messiness, live in it for a while and then get out of my room,
the joy comes.

Not always. Not all days.
Those days I just need a blanket and the couch and my dog and a NAP.
Ummm, quite possibly like today. 
My brain happened to wake me up at 4:45 obsessing over booth decor for the YMCA show.
I promise. I took my anti-anxiety medicine last night.

Here's to 
messes and naps,
falling back asleep in the early morning hours,
art, fall leaves
praying the threads in your life don't strangle you, but rather let you see a beautiful tapestry.

1 comment :

  1. As if the whole ramble were not wonderful, I made my choice of favorite part at the very last sentence. You summed it up just beautifully and perfectly.

    I also loved the part about there being enough room for all of us in a big way. Earlier in the fall, I did a mini unit on envy, and the thrust of one of the Bible passages was exactly that. There is ROOM. Stop worrying.

    Now, if my head can convince the part of my brain that controls stupid anxiety, I will be good to go.