Friday, September 7, 2012

Friday Ramblings and a Confession

I have a confession.
I tend to "catastrophize." 
Does anyone else do this?
It's when you are on a morning walk and you think of a friend who is going on a trip and by the time you cross the street, you have their funeral planned out due to an unforeseen plane crash.

I'm pretty sure this is due to a fairly chaotic upbringing, which tends to produce anxiety. Toss in the perfectionist in me who thrives on getting things done, taking on more than I should in my every day life, coupled with a full time job raising a child with special needs, having somewhat of a stubborn streak, a huge desire and drive to develop my art, stir in a visionary for a husband and you have plane crashes and funerals.

Wow. I sound like a full blown mess, don't I? Thank goodness I'm way more of a right brained type of a person. All that logical, sequential, analytical way of thinking would so not be good for me. I like looking at the sky and thinking of an art project. Or listening to some really good music and being inspired to put color on a canvas. It gets my mind off of planes.

I was talking to my friend, Wendy this morning and she repeated to me what she had heard at the prison ministry she is a part of. 
"All we have is our Daily Bread." 
Now, in prison, I'm imagining this couldn't be more true. I have never, ever come near to being in prison (ummm, except maybe in my own head planning funerals) but life within those walls, one would think, would be very narrow. Not a lot of choices, not a lot of room for making bad decisions, or overloading your day with things that don't need to take up space. 

Such as garage sales. 
{{No, really. I promise this will make sense. }}
 My eldest and I spent last Saturday cleaning out her room and the garage to get her completely moved out. (are they ever completely moved out??) My intention was to put everything in the back of my car and drive straight to Goodwill and drop it all off. My husband said it might be a good idea to have a garage sale. Not with him, mind you, he's busy this weekend. So, I tried to find someone to do it with me, because I think it's a fun thing to do and should be experienced with others. Plus, what happens when you have to go to the bathroom after drinking all the coffee consumed to get through the garage sale? Someone could walk off with a pair of shoes without paying for them and I'd be out 50 cents. 

So, all week I've been working out how to have this garage sale and hauling all the stuff for the garage sale in the back of my car.  Not just the back of my car, but every inch of space in my car except for the front seats. As in I had to trade cars with my husband to go to the grocery store, because I had no room for groceries. Why did I not put it back in the garage? It would take too much energy. I wanted to either have the garage sale and pull it out of the car Saturday morning, or just forget about it and take it all to Goodwill. (enter the stubborn gene.)

On top of working out the intricacies of a garage sale, I'm trying to figure out who Brenna's new doctors will be. She is now an "adult" and can't see her pediatrician or her endocrinologist. She also has a cold, which 9 times out of 10 she can't kick without an antibiotic, but I kinda don't have a doctor for her to see, so I'd probably have to take her to Urgent Care. I've got a schedule mapped out for getting artwork done for the 3 day show next month and it doesn't really include doctor visits or garage sales, getting back into yoga, or dinner for that matter. I also kind of forgot about homework, tennis and laundry in the mix. It needs a place on the schedule, but my non-analytical, non-logical brain can't quite figure out how to fit all the puzzle pieces together.

Which brings me back to Daily Bread.

I've got too much bread on my plate.
I can guarantee you that God doesn't give us so much Daily Bread that we become sick. No, that would be me heaping third and fourth portions on my plate.

Which also brings me back to what I've been reading in Jesus Calling:
"As you look to Me for guidance, I enable you to do less but accomplish more."

So, I drove straight to Goodwill after my walk today. My plan was to walk, sit in the art room and PRODUCE. But I needed to clear my plate, and clean it and put it away more than producing.
I am proud to say my car is empty, my thoughts have rambled out and I still have time to play in the paint today.

New day. 
New mercies.
End of ramble.

can't for get the Iphone photos. my favorite is brenna and bob. he's for sale at a vintage store in town.
and yes. i want him in my yard in the worst way...


  1. You have a very entertaining way of writing, and I like the word "catastrophize", which sometimes describes me too. I had a peaceful childhood, so there goes your caused by a chaotic childhood theory.
    I hope your schedule goes smoothly so you have time for bread AND your art.

  2. New Day.
    New Mercies.
    End of Ramble.
    Love it!
    I would do a garage sale with you anytime! LOL
    I wish we were neighbors!
    We could catastrophize together.
    Yes. I do the same thing!

  3. Dear Lynn

    Your writing always speaks to my heart. I was so blessed by your post this morning so needed for me right now. Thank you so much. May you have a beautiful, blessed and peaceful weekend.

    hugs to you

  4. HAHAHAHAHAHA I do that too. All the time. And I see it in my daughter, too. Thanks (or no thanks) to our mother and grandmother, who PhD'd in Catastrophizing. Luckily I live only a few short blocks from a Goodwill.

  5. Oh Lynn, I wish we were neighbors :) You make me laugh, and I identify with the way your brain works, tee hee :)

  6. Lynn... good call on taking the "stuff" to Goodwill! Now do you want to come over and support me in doing the same??!! LOL

  7. Just when I think I have kicked that "catastrophise" habit I don't get a return phone call from someone and I need to be talked out of calling the police for a well being check by my very logical husband! I'm soooo glad you did NOT have that garage sale! So much work and time for so little return. I prefer to imagine the joy of someone finding a really good bargain on some thing they need at Goodwill. Problem for me when I drop something off I then park and go in and buy more " treasure". You sound like you have a very full plate and am so glad that you include your lovely art making on it.

  8. Lynn-- your hectic life is kind of the norm for me-- lol!! Like you- I seem to always have too much on my plate. I love that you just took all the garage sale stuff to Goodwill--- my favorite way to handle "stuff" overload as well!

    I hope Brenna is enjoying the last days of summer--- I do enjoy your collection of iPhone pics!


  9. Hmmmmm....this garage sale thing without male participation sounds VERY familiar!!! While the male of the house was gone a few weeks ago, I cleaned out several cabinets and....ready did NOT put it in the garage sale pile but rather took it to Goodwill. Oh my gosh what a great feeling. I think he needs to go out of town again ;)

    Glad to see you are making art and involved in shows! All this and a million other things to do - wow you are making me look bad ;) Did I mention that I'm getting ready to head out on a trip?! Yikes!

    Wishing you and Brenna a great week (without any "c" words ;))

    Hugs and purrs,

    "her" and Romeo