Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Pre-Friday Ramble Concerning Dogs.

In the light of it being Black Friday this week, I'm getting a jump on my Friday Ramble. No, I will not be out at o-dark thirty shopping. I will be snuggled in my bed, wondering what those of you that have braved the Black Friday madness have scored......

I'm thinking I might have some parental/pet owner advice for you.
When you have a dog that is prone to separation anxiety in a rather large way, it is good to be proactive and have the vet prescribe some doggie prozac. It is good to have the vet prescribe said prozac before the work is done on your house as it takes about three weeks for the desired effect to kick in. Being the smart pet owner that you are, you have now preempted door chewing on the newly repaired door frames (please note the plural in door frameS)  by your rather anxious dog whenever you leave your home.
But wait. Your husband is appalled at the cost of the doggie prozac!!! He says to cut the dose in half!!! When you protest, he pulls the "I am a doctor" card and knows how to dose this medication. So, you acquiesce and spend the next three weeks giving your pet half the dose.
Here is what happens.

You bite your tongue. You actually are too horrified to begin thinking of saying "I TOLD you so's"  You turn miserably toward your husband and say, "What on earth do we DO?? Find her a new home???"

Herein lies your greatest mistake. 
By this I don't mean giving your dog just half the dose of prozac.
Mass havoc will reign. Lots of tears will come forth. ESPECIALLY when your child thinks you have said, "What on earth do we DO? Put her down??"
You will feel like a worm and promise your child almost anything to make her stop crying. Heaven help you, but you are desperate enough to entertain frantic thoughts of promising her a puppy to make her stop crying.

Once you have your child convinced you will not kill your dog on the spot and have stopped the flood of tears without promising a puppy, you will then go downstairs, and being the good pet owner you are, grab the jar of peanut butter and give your dog the other half of the pill. The next morning, you will give your dog more peanut butter and the entire pill, and you will repeat this for the next two days.
Here is where you will quite possibly doubt if you are really a good pet owner because you will find your dog is standing on the dresser at the foot of your bed, stoned out of her mind, and not really sure of where she is.
You pray a lot these days, and as you gently get your dog off of the dresser and onto the floor, you pray you haven't overdosed your beloved (?) pet.

There is redemption to this ramble.
The dog ends up tolerating the full dose and you don't have to pay an exorbitant vet bill to pump her stomach. The dog seems to have mellowed out just a tad. Hopefully, enough to make her stop chewing the door frames. (Probably not, but we will pull a Scarlette and think about this tomorrow.) Your child allows the dog to sleep on her bed for the first time in eight years. The family agrees to take turns making sure the dog gets some form of exercise every day. (The family doesn't know this yet, but the Come to Jesus Meeting is going to happen.)

I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, full of joy and un-chewed door frames. I am thankful for each and everyone of you that stops by!


  1. Baaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this had me laughing till the tears rolled down my face!!! Keep the poor pooch on Prozac! Full dosage!

  2. Oh what we do for our dogs. . .and what they do to/for us! Absolutely loved the writing of your "Prozac" story!

  3. I please forgive me for laughing yet again at the antics of Miss Party and the havoc it sends hurling into your life.

    Here is my nugget of wisdom for you: Look on the bright side.Giving her half the dose did indeed limit her to only a door frame. Singular. Not frames.

    And then there's this. It's scriptural:

    If thy dog be a rebellious door frame eater, Ye shall take him out and stone him.

    It's probably somewhere in Leviticus.

  4. agggh, I've been there! i am so sorry to see and read this. You have such a good temper. I didn't take it so well with a puppy and a toddler, at the time :/ I love your blue wall though, what a gorgeous color. Hang in there lady :) I love seeing you on Instagram too! happy Thanksgiving! Love Fran T

  5. Humm. Maybe I am glad I have a Cat. Lol...

    I do hope you and your family have a happy Thanksgiving!

  6. OH it is hard (impossible) to deal with this...we once had a dog who ate the corner right off a wall (and we lived in a rented apartment) And to be honest she was crazy even in old age. Would he be happier if he had a crate when you were gone or maybe a Thundershirt? You sure can write, Lynn! I felt like I was right there in the middle of that situation watching it unfold... Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

  7. your poor poor babies... how awful all round... lots of walks will do her the world of good I am sure... the dog that is... and it worked so well with our little scaredy fur baby... he settled down so much once he was walked every day... and sometimes he gets two a day... just around the block or he gets too tired and you have to carry the poor thing, but he is a different dog...
    hope you have a simply wonderful Thanksgiving and that your stoned baby... and poor daughter... is feeling much better...

  8. Ah yes, the prozac pup syndrome. And the "come to Jesus" meeting. Yes, yes, these are all familiar terms. Only difference is that in this house it's the cat that gets the prozac. First. Then the owner joins in ;)

    Hoping your pup didn't use a door toothpick to clean the turkey out of his teeth...



  9. Lynn how do you do it.
    What an emotional roller coaster you have been on and it is still climbing.
    I am not sure how I would deal.
    I mean the heart strings are pulled to the max here, Brenna and the pup :(
    Would a crate work at this point in her life, it just seems so sad.

    I wish I had better words to give you and I can't even think of the saying goodbye to an animal. I hope there is a light that will shine and all will be resolved happily.

  10. Lynn.. you crack me up!!! Now I am not laughing AT you... just chuckling (does that sound better?) WITH you! Ok. Future advice from fellow dog owner. My requirements when finding a four legged family member are as follows: (1) must be 6 months old upon entering our family. Thus, avoiding the housebreaking routine (2) must not be a barker as nothing makes me tense up more than a "chilld" who must always make their presence known (3) must be female. Miss Annie met all my requirements and that is a story all by itself as there was Divine Intervention in this. She's 14 now, blind, and requires us to always look out for her. As well as it should be as all those years she looked out for me. Your little puppy will soon be over the hurdle and will be become the love of your life!!! As if it isn't already!!