In the light of it being Black Friday this week, I'm getting a jump on my Friday Ramble. No, I will not be out at o-dark thirty shopping. I will be snuggled in my bed, wondering what those of you that have braved the Black Friday madness have scored......
I'm thinking I might have some parental/pet owner advice for you.
When you have a dog that is prone to separation anxiety in a rather large way, it is good to be proactive and have the vet prescribe some doggie prozac. It is good to have the vet prescribe said prozac before the work is done on your house as it takes about three weeks for the desired effect to kick in. Being the smart pet owner that you are, you have now preempted door chewing on the newly repaired door frames (please note the plural in door frameS) by your rather anxious dog whenever you leave your home.
But wait. Your husband is appalled at the cost of the doggie prozac!!! He says to cut the dose in half!!! When you protest, he pulls the "I am a doctor" card and knows how to dose this medication. So, you acquiesce and spend the next three weeks giving your pet half the dose.
Here is what happens.
You bite your tongue. You actually are too horrified to begin thinking of saying "I TOLD you so's" You turn miserably toward your husband and say, "What on earth do we DO?? Find her a new home???"
Herein lies your greatest mistake.
By this I don't mean giving your dog just half the dose of prozac.
You need to MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD IS NOT WITHIN EARSHOT OF ISSUING THIS THREAT.
Mass havoc will reign. Lots of tears will come forth. ESPECIALLY when your child thinks you have said, "What on earth do we DO? Put her down??"
You will feel like a worm and promise your child almost anything to make her stop crying. Heaven help you, but you are desperate enough to entertain frantic thoughts of promising her a puppy to make her stop crying.
Once you have your child convinced you will not kill your dog on the spot and have stopped the flood of tears without promising a puppy, you will then go downstairs, and being the good pet owner you are, grab the jar of peanut butter and give your dog the other half of the pill. The next morning, you will give your dog more peanut butter and the entire pill, and you will repeat this for the next two days.
Here is where you will quite possibly doubt if you are really a good pet owner because you will find your dog is standing on the dresser at the foot of your bed, stoned out of her mind, and not really sure of where she is.
You pray a lot these days, and as you gently get your dog off of the dresser and onto the floor, you pray you haven't overdosed your beloved (?) pet.
There is redemption to this ramble.
The dog ends up tolerating the full dose and you don't have to pay an exorbitant vet bill to pump her stomach. The dog seems to have mellowed out just a tad. Hopefully, enough to make her stop chewing the door frames. (Probably not, but we will pull a Scarlette and think about this tomorrow.) Your child allows the dog to sleep on her bed for the first time in eight years. The family agrees to take turns making sure the dog gets some form of exercise every day. (The family doesn't know this yet, but the Come to Jesus Meeting is going to happen.)
I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, full of joy and un-chewed door frames. I am thankful for each and everyone of you that stops by!