Friday, November 2, 2012

Friday Ramblings

I thought I had hit my limit for chaos this week. 
When one waves a white flag, doesn't that mean it gets better?

Like being on a roller coaster and knowing you have hit the peak and you are screaming all the way down and the end is just around the corner.

Not so much.
Especially when your new painter-friends look at you like you are talking out of your ears because they thought this would be a spray one color and be done job. I reminded him that I had told him what I wanted and then asked if he really wanted the job. He said yes, of course! But it will take "many days." Apparently they are behind all ready. Then one painter-man tells me he is a trainer for cage fighters. Did he really need to tell me this just because he saw we have a chin up bar in the house? I really don't want to make a cage-fighter upset, would you?

Let me back track just a bit.
Coming from the crazy household I grew up in, needs were not on the top of the priority list. Raging was. Working out a problem, not so much. Drinking was also a priority, and it really didn't lend itself to a healthy way of learning how to make your needs known. I did learn to make others happy and make everything o.k. and clean up messes and to be quiet and meet my own needs. I learned exceptionally well to just put my head down and get 'er done. No problem and no worries were my mantra. Ya'll just do what you need to do and I'll come in after you and quietly make it the way it should be to make everyone  happy. 

This doesn't work after a while. It doesn't work after about a day, but I got really, really good at it and soon after having Brenna,  I realized it wasn't helping me at ALL and I couldn't make everything o.k. for everyone else AND take care of a special needs child.

I have sought lots and L.O.T.S. of help for this and other anxieties in my life and continue to do so. It's a life long process, this life.

Back to my painter-friends. 

They finished the kitchen and family room yesterday and I hate the colors. My husband says it looks like a baby boy's room and needs white puffy clouds painted on the ceiling. For me, the colors are too jarring and I'm completely unsettled and I feel like I'm in a church's nursery room and need to fill the room with plastic toys.

It needs to be changed. I need to tell my new painter-friends they have to re-paint. This would be confrontation to me, or at least the possibility of it. It also has the great potential for making them upset. Especially the cage fighter.
 I work this out by waking up at 2:45 a.m. and obsessing how I will get my needs known to my new friends without a huge argument and little to no confrontation.  This also includes working out every single scenario possible in my head. 

Have you ever noticed working this out at 3 a.m. is NOT the best time of the day to work out a problem?
My sweet husband told me, (at 3:00) "It's a room. It's not like something major has been broken. If we need to, I'll paint it this weekend." Why this didn't comfort me to go right back to sleep is beyond me.
I got up and went downstairs to contemplate my new toy room. Maybe I could live with it.

I can't. I hate it. How will I approach my painter-friends?
(Insert various scenarios again and again working through my head here.)
After watching nothing on T.V. for a distraction I managed to back asleep in the middle of praying around 4:30.

I am happy to report today that I talked to my new friends. I told them what a fabulous job they have done in painting but I just don't like the color. No drinking needed before hand and no raging afterward. Pretty cool.
 Their response?  "Ohhhh. The whole room? Ohhhh. O.K."
No confrontation.
It will take more time and they do have a job to get to after my house, so I said maybe they could come back after finishing that job and repaint.

The cage fighter guy? He didn't like the color either, but didn't want to say anything.
O.K., THAT scenario definitely did not make it on my playlist at 3:00 a.m.
I'll have to remember it for next time.

 Then he went on to tell me that they painted for a lady who didn't like the color of her room either. FOUR TIMES. He said, "You don't like it, we re-do it. We take a deep breath and repaint." Then he asked me if it would possibly be o.k. to use my microwave to re heat his coffee. By then, I was ready to go buy him new coffee. 

Some days, I want a refund on all the therapy I've had. Some days it really, really pays off.

The best part????
I have nowhere to land in my house, so I went to our Corner Bakery to write this. I read my Jesus Calling devotional first. Here's a stand out sentence:
"Do not condemn yourself for your constant need of help. Instead, come to Me with your gaping neediness; let the Light of My Love fill you."
I'll have to add this to my 3:00 a.m. playlist as well.

New day. New mercies.


  1. This had me laughing and crying at the same time (clouds on the ceiling, why not!) because I survived that same household but in different ways. Love you to bits!!

  2. What a great post! i know where you are coming from in some respects and I've been there with the late night worrying and playing and replaying scenarios in my mind:)I am glad it all worked out for you and getting the walls redone.

  3. Lol.. I promise I am sympathizing too.. but I'll be honest, the giggles came over me first! :)
    I'll send Jono over and he'd be happy to paint white puffy clouds on your ceiling.. or Spidy and friends! :) I love you and TOTALLY am happy that you will "eventually" get the color you want! Hoping and praying though that their next clients house isn't a 5,000. sq ft home with crown and moldings to paint too! Just be happy your husband isn't a general contractor.. their (my) homes are ALWAYS the last to get done! PLEASE.. come on over and I'm sure you will be commiserating with me! xoxo

  4. Oh Lynn, I have finally found a moment to sit and read.
    Coffee is on its way.
    Girl, I so know exactly what you mean. The taking care of everything ourselves and making sure no yelling happens, the feeling of peace for just a minute. But it always led to something else wasn't done right or taken care of.
    Deep breath...

    I am so glad that the painter friends got the point and no yelling took place.
    I hope the second time it comes out right and you can get some normalcy back in your life.

    Hope your show went splendidly or at least you got a red cup to sip from this weekend ;)

  5. Oh my goodness. I can totally relate. I also have those late night conversation with my crazy self. I do believe praying has always helped me as well.. I just wish I would think of it earlier in the evening.


  6. If I told you that this was my favorite Blue Skies ramble ever, would you believe me? Well, it is. I sort of wading through it, splashing around in the details if that makes sense.

    I loved the part about the cage trainer not liking the color either. That made me giggle. The baby boy toy room descriptions of the room? More giggling. Sorry.

    I know it's a pain, and I know you really want to be less of a "gaping needer", but I also know that when it's all said and done, you will be a happy homemaker once again. I will want pictures, you know.

    I love the way you write because I love the way you THINK. That's why this post is my very favorite.

  7. Hi Gal!
    So sorry you have this to deal with, but am so glad that God met you right where you were with His truths in that amazing little book! He has done the same thing for me over and over again, and yet I'm still amazed! Can't wait to see it when you love the color, and it gives your great joy to be in there!!
    Hugs to you!

  8. Mr. Cage Fighter sounds cool! I know where you are about the painting- I did the dining room years ago. Wore myself out getting it done but it was done- and I hated it! It looked like Pepto Bismol barfed on the walls. So ugly. I redid it and it was much better.

  9. Lynn-/ I think those late night conversations that we have sometimes turn out to be the ones that are the most productive. It will all be fine--- and beautiful! Sending hugs your way--

  10. OH MY GOSH! I am, er excuse me, someone in this household is very familiar with the worry at 2 a.m. and having to work out every possible scenario, sleepless nights until said "confrontation" has occured, more sleepless nights when things don't go as plan (read as didn't anticipate that scenario that you also described)....yep, I know someone else with those challenges. You are not alone ;) Hoping that the next color is one you like, or at the very least you'll have them only redo it three times so that the other woman can always be the "four times redone" ;)

    Hugs and purrs,

    "Her" and Romeo (who always insists I paint his name big in the new color before totally repainting the wall)

  11. Hi Lynn,
    There's always something, isn't there?! Glad your "something" was only a wall color - easily remedied. Deep Breath. My husband called me from work yesterday (chicken), to tell me he had volunteered our house for the Gideon's Xmas party. What the F#*&! Guess I better take my own advice.....Deep Breath.
    Your house is going to be lovely!
    Take care,
    xo A

  12. Lynn... those 3 am thoughts playing ping pong in your head? You're not the only one. It only seems that way at that hour. An hour that never brings comfort. I get it! Good for you that you tried a new approach and received a positive reaction! Just remember that next time and the time after that! I really appreciate your honesty!