I was at a store yesterday, treating myself to a little pre-birthday present.
Under those hideous fluorescent lights, I began the horrible realizations of aging. As I bent over to examine what had happened to my legs over the last year, I began the descent into being hyper-critical of myself.
I tossed everything back and burst through the doors into the fresh air. As the glow of the fluorescent lights faded, I came to a realization:
I gave myself two minutes of mourning my aging legs, and began finding positive words.
Going with it, I have written my own manifesto.
This year, I will continue to gather.
I will find art each day.
I will find it in the simple things, I will create it. I will make it happen and I will share it.
I will buy some chicks, feed them, keep them warm and nurture them into giving us fresh eggs.
I will always wear sunscreen. Sunshine is meant to be enjoyed in vast quantities, preferably in or near water.
I might even wear a hat.
I will look at my legs that I have inherited from my father and stand up for them. I won't hide them away, but I will protect them just a little more.
I will begin yoga and return to swimming.
I refuse to be a hardbody.
I will say thank you every day and keep record of things I am grateful for.
I will tell my family that I love them with words and actions.
I will practice spiritual white space.
I will raise my hands when I sing and lift my face up to the One who desires to infuse great joy to my life. I will remind myself that every single day, there are new mercies waiting for me.
I will continue to dance in my kitchen and list my favorite songs and REVEL in their variety.
Best of all,
I will throw my head back and laugh as many times as possible and for as long as I need to.
I will not say no to tears.
I will seek wise counsel.
I will be willing:
To say I don't know
To ask for help
I will not fall apart at disapproval.
I will make every effort to be nice to myself when I just cannot seem to get all my sh*t together and my brain has ceased to be young and fresh and I am hot for no reason.
Because this will pass.