what do you want

What do you want?

A question that has been asked as far back as I can remember.

What do you want for dinner?

For lunch?

What do you want from me?

What do you want to play?

new life for an old canvas

What do you want....

to do?

My answers have been pretty straightforward...

good food

a sandwich on home made bread and some chips

to be loved

anything fun and in the sun, next to the water.

Then the last one.

What do you want....

To DO?

I am stumped.

If it was all open to me and readily available,

what do I really, really REALLY want to do?

layers and layers and layers of paint and paper, ink and color

If I could pick and choose?

I have had the fun thoughts:

travel the world

live on the beach

hit every flea market in Europe

sing back up for a huge singer 

(I can't do harmony worth beans, I just want to be on an enormous stage)

free motion stiching

Then the more subdued thoughts:

live a boring life

to be able to make sure my child will never be sick again

have more energy

to get the stupid to do list done-forever

Then the whisper comes again-

"No. Really. What do you want to do?"

"what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

               ~mary oliver

It's getting a little more clear as time goes on.

It's centered around

 art

encouragement

truth

beauty

living with my hands open

Sure, I'd like to be featured in a gallery, or have my art on pillows.

But what makes my heart race and gets me going is...

 Sharing the message behind my art. 

 To women in particular.

To share the art making process and help unlock the answer to that age old question.

the half way point...it's becoming clearer

  What do I want?

To do?

I would like to share this with the women who are facing a time in their life where they are unsure. Maybe the future is looking a little bleak. They don't know how to express their longings, their heart song.

Women with too much change going on, not enough change, women who feel 30, but the face in the mirror says they are (a little) past that age.

Things I have experienced- am experiencing and learning...

Speaking Truth, even though our voices shake.

Joy.

Working through the hard stuff.

Loving with everything I have. And then some.

Being enough.

Becoming brave.

Giving myself permission to put what I am learning on the canvas until I have exhausted the learning process.

Then start again with something new.

There is a lot swirling in my head that will help me do just this.

As always, I am more than impatient to get it going. But man. It takes time and intention. Which is better in the long run. Especially when you couple that with fun.

It's pretty amazing to me that the learning process never ends.

So, keep checking back.

Maybe we can learn something together!