Thursday, January 16, 2014

Friday Ramblings, Looking To The Future

Today marks another chapter in walking my daughter, Brenna, toward independence. 

Independence looks a little different for her than most people, but she craves it just as much as the next person. Possibly more, given her personality. Ever since she was tiny, she would put her hand out to stop me and say, "I DO IT." I would be pulled up short in my tracks, and watch as she would try with all her might to master what ever it was she was determined to tackle.

That said, we went back to visit a place we have been becoming familiar with for a long term living situation for Brenna. To say this is a mix of emotions is a gross understatement.
 However, we have always known she is far too much of an independent spirit and social butterfly to stay at home with us forever. If I am completely honest, we need the help in providing things in her life that will keep her growing and learning, and sometimes it comes in the form of semi-independent living.
We drove down to see a long-time friend, who has been walking this path ahead of us.
It was such a sweet time. 
We had lunch, saw his cool room, met some friends, and got a little more familiar with the surroundings.

It gives us more determination to work on things such as going to bed on her own, packing her lunch, drying her own hair, figuring out the weather for the day, being responsible for laundry, etc.
 Small things that all add up to being able to be confident (the irony of using this word is not lost on me) in living a life that is full of purpose, meaning and well, just plain full. 

i love this photo of her.

Like any mother, the thought of her graduating and not knowing what is ahead of her makes me nauseous. Like some mothers the thought of someone else helping my child through every day life situations when I'm not there pretty much makes me want to hurl. Possibly localized to me is the sheer terror that in a strange way I'm abandoning my child. 

sacked out after first swim team practice

And aren't I so happy my word for the year is confident? 
But in a very, tiny and quiet way.....yes.

Because surely if I am confident, she too, can be confident. 
Surely, if I  am confident that my husband and I have researched, prayed, sought wise counsel, studied our child and have done all that we can to help her succeed, she will be confident.

Surely, once I'm full of all that confidence, I will rest in the trust that the timing for all of this will unfold as it should and I don't have to move heaven and earth to make the clock work the way I think it should. 

Besides, if I did that, Brenna would just look at me, put her hand straight out in the stop position and say, "I DO IT".


  1. Wow! It is coming. So proud of you, Lynn. Having watched a close friend, this is a very hard step...love you!

  2. tears. I am sending hugs and prayers your way. It is a very hard thing to watch our children fly, I am always torn between pride and the feeling of wanting them to go back a few years when they were too young to leave my side. I get a little withdrawn when after a visit, mine go back to their own homes far away from me. I think you chose your word wisely, she has confidence and she was not only born with that determination but you and your family nurtured it. May God watch over all of you at this time, leading you in the best direction for Brenna to continue to move confidently in her life.
    As a mom who has said for a few years now (about 8) that there needs to be a support group for moms when their kids leave home... know that I am here for you. sending much love. t.xooxoxo

  3. Sounds like you have covered all the bases and making sure she will be OK. I am inspired by your compasion, all the things you do for Breena and the way you encourage her to be her best. She will do just fine because you have taught her to be independant. Best of luck to all of you as Breena moves on to a bright and happy future!

  4. I can't thank you enough for being so open and sharing the info of what you face. It gives us moms with special needs kids something to look at and think about now as they are young. The path that has presented itself came to you for a reason. I think she will fly so high you won't believe your eyes.
    She just needs a safe place to spread her wings and I believe you have found that place.
    I think it will be harder on you than her. ;)
    It is just like sending her off on that first day of kinder and the worry until she was in your arms again.
    It is this way for all mothers and it will never change no matter how old they get. I am sure you didn't want to send Lauren on her way either, but that is what mama birds do. It is time for her to leave the nest.
    Be confident you are doing the right thing, the positive things will come back 10 fold.

  5. Oh Lynn, you have expressed your feelings so beautifully and honestly in this post. This time of life must be so hard, but to be happily living a life independent of us...it's what we want for our children (but it still hurts our hearts). You are such loving and caring parents...I know she will be happy and do so well! XOXO

  6. I have that tightness in my chest that only mothers recognize. OK, fathers probably recognize it too, but they don't often admit it. You have such a wonderful, beautiful, daughter, and I can almost hear the voice of God saying, "Well done."

    What I can do a full continent away is remember to pray for you. She isn't the only one who CAN DO it. You can too.

  7. Hi Lynn,
    What a sweet, moving post. Life is certainly filled with plenty of baby steps along with those giant hurdles! You have given Brenna so much love and guidance, that I'm just betting she will do grandly on this new path. Always harder to be the Mom than the kid, since for them it is usually just a great adventure :)
    Take care,
    xo A

  8. I LOVE HER!!!!! She is the coolest ever! I'm so excited that you guys are working hard to give her that opportunity-I know a lot of kids like B don't. Praying for you all to trust Him through it all. Sending my love your way!