Today marks another chapter in walking my daughter, Brenna, toward independence.
Independence looks a little different for her than most people, but she craves it just as much as the next person. Possibly more, given her personality. Ever since she was tiny, she would put her hand out to stop me and say, "I DO IT." I would be pulled up short in my tracks, and watch as she would try with all her might to master what ever it was she was determined to tackle.
That said, we went back to visit a place we have been becoming familiar with for a long term living situation for Brenna. To say this is a mix of emotions is a gross understatement.
However, we have always known she is far too much of an independent spirit and social butterfly to stay at home with us forever. If I am completely honest, we need the help in providing things in her life that will keep her growing and learning, and sometimes it comes in the form of semi-independent living.
We drove down to see a long-time friend, who has been walking this path ahead of us.
It was such a sweet time.
We had lunch, saw his cool room, met some friends, and got a little more familiar with the surroundings.
It gives us more determination to work on things such as going to bed on her own, packing her lunch, drying her own hair, figuring out the weather for the day, being responsible for laundry, etc.
Small things that all add up to being able to be confident (the irony of using this word is not lost on me) in living a life that is full of purpose, meaning and well, just plain full.
i love this photo of her.
Like any mother, the thought of her graduating and not knowing what is ahead of her makes me nauseous. Like some mothers the thought of someone else helping my child through every day life situations when I'm not there pretty much makes me want to hurl. Possibly localized to me is the sheer terror that in a strange way I'm abandoning my child.
sacked out after first swim team practice
And aren't I so happy my word for the year is confident?
But in a very, tiny and quiet way.....yes.
Because surely if I am confident, she too, can be confident.
Surely, if I am confident that my husband and I have researched, prayed, sought wise counsel, studied our child and have done all that we can to help her succeed, she will be confident.
Surely, once I'm full of all that confidence, I will rest in the trust that the timing for all of this will unfold as it should and I don't have to move heaven and earth to make the clock work the way I think it should.
Besides, if I did that, Brenna would just look at me, put her hand straight out in the stop position and say, "I DO IT".