Still practicing, and I think I know why.
The grief train is coming.
I have been wondering where the sadness is over my mom's death.
There is lots of sadness due to other things surrounding her, but not especially her death.
Anger, yes. Sadness, not so much.
Today I felt a little sad and I was grateful.
Grateful that I felt like crying, but grateful when that happened that I was at the grocery store with Brenna and I held it together.
I know, I know. Crying is healing. But I'm just not ready to loose all composure in a public place with my child in tow.
After the store, we had an impromptu photo shoot.
I was grateful for the feel of the breeze, the color of the grass and the shadows beginning.
I am grateful for goofiness,
being "over" the photo shoot,
and grateful for photos that aren't posed.
I'm grateful to have been able to sit with a friend post-surgery today.
I'm grateful for another friend who was able to call me even though her depression is rearing it's ugly head.
And I'm grateful to experience the simple task of gathering fresh eggs.
Your turn.
Oh Lynn, I am so glad you had something else to feel other than what you have been feeling.
ReplyDeleteHealing takes a long time and we all grieve in our own way. I had a crazy crying spurt at the Post office one day after I lost my FIL and I thought the men in white padded trucks were coming to get me.
Let it out, it is good for ya and you will feel so much better after doing so.
The night I got home from seeing you, I stayed up until 3am just talking with my MIL and letting her talk out her emotions after a year of losing her hubby. I wish ya could have sat in that circle with us...there was a lot of crying going on there.
So even if that depression hits...I am grateful for friends and family to be there to listen.
XOXO
Amy
oh and How adorable are those shots of Brenna!!!
ReplyDeleteLove the one of her peeking over the sleeve. Her eyes are doing all the talking.
Amy
Love the photos....so much love in that face! That helps keep me going, the love of my children and the chance to see my Grandchild. Grieving is important and it will happen in your own time. hugs, Linda
ReplyDeleteI so appreciate your honesty. And I'm glad that the stages of grief are progressing, that you have your camera to help you express yourself through it all.
ReplyDeleteSending you love and thoughts of peace...
Thank you for sharing Lynn. It will hit you at all kinds of crazy inappropriate and inconvenient times. xo
ReplyDeleteShannon
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I see from the button on your sidebar that we're also taking the Soul Business course together. That's a bit serendipitous.
ReplyDeleteLove all your gorgeous photos of your girl and yes to gathering fresh eggs. They are the best.
Today I'm loving my knitting and having a quiet day.
I'm so grateful that you shared. Love the pics.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, Lynn. We will ride it together, ok? We will come out at the other end.
ReplyDeleteI love you!
Sue
Grief comes and goes and strikes you when you least expect it. And from my own experience, crying isn't the only way grief is expressed - the tears come when they're ready to fall...
ReplyDeleteI love the photos too - it's wonderful to take pictures of children that aren't staged. And a wonderful thing to do with your daughter when thoughts of your own Mom are so fresh.
Thinking of you,
jillayne
Time. For grief, practice never matters, it's never easier. Only time will heal each and every moment lost with someone. Give yourself that time. In the meanwhile, here's a hug just for you....
ReplyDelete"Her" and Romeo (who sends you purrs)
I'm grateful when the hand from above guides me to new places (like your blog) and shows me what I have been asking for and what I have been seeking.
ReplyDelete