Friday Ramblings....updated at 7:30 Friday evening.

Please scroll to the end to see update ....

Happy Friday!!

Oh, it's a glorious Friday. Why? Two words:

SUMMER VACATION.

I love summer vacation. 

We sleep in. We play in the pool. Brenna attends camp, we swim, go to the beach, BBQ almost every night, eat outside, watch movies, it is the BEST.

I can't say I like beginning the first day with Brenna's IEP, where the school psychologist will tell me what age level Brenna tested out for reading and math. Nor do I really want to tell them our goals for her for when she finishes school. Who can say those right now? I always begin these meetings a little on the testy side. I'm usually on the defense when someone tells me my child is at the level of a 7 yr. old academically and they haven't seen her work in the nursery or hang with her friends at school or watch her do her laundry. 

Any way, Monday is coming and we will begin in earnest our summer days.

I spotted this in and Anthropologie store last week:

See that little price tag on the bottom left? It had $800 written on it.

On an old dresser that someone decopaged muslin on to it, then painted it.

I'm on the look out for old dressers.

This is me when we drive to see my eldest, which we did to celebrate Brenna's last day of school. I don't get out much.Brenna has been asking me when is La-La coming home on a daily basis. It was really fun to surprise her. Uh, no. I'm not taking pictures while I drive.

 This is how Miss Party travels.

This dog makes me nuts, but she can be pretty sweet. I have never had such a tumultuous relationship with a dog.  One minute I want to tell the girls she ran away and secretly take her to the shelter. The next minute I'm taking pictures of her in my car. Go figure.

Remember this movie?

We were in a thrift store and I spotted it. Talk about flashbacks....I have seen exactly two scary movies in my life. Amityville Horror with my dad and this one. This one scared the snot out of me. Yes, Adrienne Barbeau scared me spitless.

Gotta go get ready to talk to the crew of people who want to give me goals for my child's early adult years. Wish me luck. Better yet, wish me a strong voice and wisdom to hear good direction.

Additional rambles this Friday evening

Today, I came away from the IEP meeting a little shell-shocked, as I always do. The psychologist this time around was fabulous and was very determined to tell us that all the numbers and testing are all held loosely as each child is different and she as she was not able to observe Brenna in her natural settings.(A first for me.) All the same, I sat at the table thinking how surreal it was to 

be sitting at there, listening to people tell me about my daughter's brain synapses, how and why she does things in a repetitive manner, what things we can (and will) work on with someone who has a capacity of a seven-year-old, and things began to click in my head. But not in a good way. I began to panic.

 WHAT will we be able to teach her? Dear God, WHO will care for her all of her life? HOW much will she be able to learn???? WHEN will I teach her all of this??? WHAT IF...

Then, I did something different. Instead of going home and burying myself in work or ignoring my feelings,I sent a text to my sisters, spilling out my fears. They reached out in tenderness and some good advice. 

Then I went to Trader Joe's and bought peonies. (good advice.) Just because they were beautiful. And I needed something beautiful.

Then I took a nap.

I brought Brenna to a hair cut appointment this afternoon,and the most amazing thing happened. At the salon, we met a woman who has a 15 month old daughter with Down Syndrome. They are also in the process of adopting a 17 month old little girl with Down Syndrome from the Ukraine, through Reece's Rainbow. I was able to hold this woman's daughter and play with her toes and make her smile and giggle and show her to Brenna. We gushed and oohed and ahhhed over her every move. 

In holding that sweet child, I was overcome by awe. Awe in a sweet, sweet life that is loved by so many and overawed at her purpose in this life. Awe in a healing balm that was put over my heart in holding that bundle of goodness. Awe in realizing even though I'm honest and it's rough and it hurts like the devil at times, there is a beautiful, beautiful BEAUTIFUL gift in our lives. Who else would teach me to love so deeply? Who else would teach me God's goodness in the midst of being real and honest with my pain? Who else would work in making me able to allow my  heart and soul be open and raw and receive what I never think I should get by being honest and vulnerable--healing, a little at time. 

And besides, Who else would blow spit wads at me at Baker's restaurant and let me blow straw covers back in her face? 

Iphone fun for the week: