Continuing the Journaling Journey

Hi friends!

I thought for SURE I would have done at least 3 posts last week, not just one...

The week pretty much got away from me while driving hither and yon, remembering to pick up Brenna at different times. I am so proud of myself! I didn't forget what time to be where once!!

 But this is a new week, so who knows. The school schedule has changed yet once again, so this week is different than the last two. I tell you what. You think you have life down to a science and then the experiment explodes.

So. Journaling. 

I have continued reading my Ragamuffin Gospel.

And this statement hit me between the eyes:

I thought, "yeah. O.k....uh-huh."

"Wait. What?" Toward ourselves? As in, me? Me be kind to myself?

Huh. This is going to take some time to think about. 

You have all been gentle, caring and compassionate toward me the last several weeks as I have geared up for Lauren leaving again and Brenna beginning this new stage of life in High School. I have had a couple of people tell me to be gentle to myself. This has, thankfully, come to my mind during different parts of the last weeks and I have actually listened to the advice.

I really don't do needs very well.  I have them. But they don't fit right. They look like a coat with arms that are too short. I just won't wear it. But it seems like every time I open up the closet, that darn coat is right there, front and center. I think of needs as something that can be taken to the tailor. Just put another layer of material on the coat sleeves, and then the sleeves will be long enough and I can wear the coat.

But it still doesn't fit right.

So, I'll deal with it, and just wear the coat.

 Or toss it out to the Goodwill.

I will think about this statement for a while. 

In my journal I will add this transperancy from a picture I took in my sister's garden:

She is one of my favorites of the statues in her yard.

I think I will use her face in this journal entry because she looks calm and serene.

She doesn't look like her coat is too short in the sleeves.

I will add some color to her, and putz around with the page, all the while thinking about what it looks like to be "compassionate...toward ourselves in our failure and need."

How does your coat fit today?