I finished another journal page this week. The one with this quote:
It was a tough process. The first part was fairly easy. Kinda like something being ingrained in your head, it's almost rote work to do it.
I put this part of the quote behind the transparency. I would say it's a thought that is easily pulled from the front of my mind.
The statue was gorgeous in and of herself. I just added some color to her cheeks, lips and hair on the back of the transparency with oil pastels.
Then came the second half.
The part that, if you just have head knowledge of the beginning of the quote, it makes it tough to realize it in a deeper way.
In other words, I took the darn coat out of the closet and tried to put it back on.
It was veiled to me. It was dark. I struggled with this for days. I'd put something pretty together and take it apart. Every time I look at the words failure and need it would send me away from the project. Then one day, I just started getting out anything dark and layering it on....
Do I dare tell you I struggle with the word compassion as well? I believe it comes from giving out too much and the thought of unending compassion sends me into a tailspin. (Yes. I admit it. I have trouble with boundaries and decision making.)
Too much information??
The word need was small, like the ill-fitting coat.
The word failure, a little bigger.
Then I noticed something.
That, number one, I misspelled the word "calls" and put "call".
(failure?? oops. I missed perfection. Darn.)
And, two, as a believer, when we are "called" to do something I don't think it is an option.
It is up to us to look at the call, and decide where it fits in our life, how it looks for us.
(refer to paragraph above about boundaries and decision making)
What an amazing thing to be "called" to do.
Yet, when I'm tired and giving out too much, even this call is too much.
Which is why I added the word "journey" to her head dress.
Thank goodness that our life is not expected to be all together in a weekend.
We work on things throughout our life's journey.
There are many, many things we each work on that are not something to be crossed off of a to-do list by the end of the day.
Will someone please remind me of this on Monday??!!
Love to each of you~