I'm working on another collage with a thought pattern behind it.
The pattern would be around this word.
Especially in regards to raising my daughter.
I took away her ipod touch yesterday because I was tired of the eye-rolling and her muttering, "whatever." under hear breath. Of course, when I did take it away, it was probably beyond the point of no return and I did not fairly warn her that I would take it away if she continued her behavior.
Which means I got the full exposure to the biggest, saddest face on this earth. Add to that the biggest, saddest tears and I automatically entered myself into the bad mommy category.
The reason she was blowing me off in the first place was because I was pushing her to exercise. It was late, I felt guilty we hadn't done anything and she just didn't WANT to.
My constant question to myself in raising this child is,
When do we let it go as parents?
When do we push our children to be their best?
Who gets to decide what the best is?
We have always been told, "never treat her any differently than your other children".
O.K.
But there is an added dimension of grace needed here.
An acute ability to detect manipulation,
a severe need to be able to know when enough is enough.
To see your child as a unique individual.
I could never, ever scold Lauren in a firm voice. It would reduce her to tears in an instant.
Brenna?
She's my one that will give it right back.
Which brings us to last night.
I know better.
I'm waving the white flag today.
xo
The beauty of this post is that it expresses a dilema so universal, the ability to know the line and to understand the distinct language of each child, regardless of circumstance.
ReplyDeleteOne of mine could be silenced with a look. The other? Well, it took a bit more. And it was the second one who could be the master manipulator if I let her.
Which I did sometimes.
'Cause I'm just so human.
And so we all surrender sometimes, don't we?
It sounds like you have very wise parenting instincts, Lynn!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a great post. We all have to surrender at times. My middle son was called the strong willed child. I remember going to his preschool teacher asking if she thought he had ADD. No, she said, he's just strong willed. He's a leader. I learned the hard way to pick my battles, not just with him but with all of them. Otherwise I would be the one that would be breaking down in tears! Which happened quite often!
ReplyDeleteThis is just the post i needed to read right now. It's been a long day... a long week and I need to surrender as well. You are a GOOD mom.
ReplyDeleteI think pushing on exercise is a good thing. Taking away the iPod without warning? LOL...sounds like a mom to me. She'll live. Practice forgiveness as well as surrender. And then ask her if she'd rather do push-ups than whatever it was she was doing...15 minutes of disco dancing will make both of you sweat and be happy. Bee Gees!!
ReplyDeleteMy daughter was the same way.. if I said boo she would cry.. She is 24 now and she is still that way.. She doesn't want to disappoint me.. She never could.. But I can so relate to surrendering.. Even now I want to tell her how to raise her son.. But I just keep my big trap shut... It hard..
ReplyDeleteThanks for such a great post this morning..
Hugs, Linda